


A Silent Prayer

by WhoIsWren



Category: Supernatural, Wayward Sisters (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Castiel & Claire Novak Friendship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Lesbian Claire Novak, M/M, References to Depression, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 20:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14196891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoIsWren/pseuds/WhoIsWren
Summary: There is one person who can get through to Claire, one person that can drag her from her grief, not that she'd ever admit it.





	A Silent Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> This kind of took on a mind of it's own. It was just supposed to be a quick little Claire and Cas bonding moment....then it got all emotional. oops. 
> 
> Also, can we just take a moment to be thrilled that Wayward Sisters is actually an option in the Fandom section of AO3?! Gods, I really hope the pilot gets picked up, it could be such an amazing show! *fingers crossed*

Liking girls wasn’t new to Claire. Her whole life she’s known she’s been attracted to girls, it never felt like a big deal to her because dating in general was never important to her. She was too busy missing her father, hating angels, searching for her mother, being angry at the world, and fighting the supernatural. Claire Novak had too much on her plate to worry about relationships and girls.

She’d been with girls before and found she was actually pretty good at the whole ‘one night stand’ thing. No attachments and everyone has a good time. It was easy and fulfilled her needs. She didn’t need anything more than that.

Then she met a dream walker and suddenly she found herself wanting.

She wanted more than the physical, more than the quickie in the back of her car, more than a one night stand. Claire looked at the scared dream walker and found something worth sticking around for.

Talking to Kaia on Jody’s front step Claire had felt closer to another human being than she ever has before. She found herself blushing and giggling, opening up to someone for the first time in years, she felt her walls crumbling down the longer she was in Kaia’s presence.

She wasn’t blind, she knew Kaia was just as into her as she was into Kaia. Claire was doomed to lead a messed up life the moment her father agreed to be the vessel for an angel but being around Kaia, her life didn’t seem so bleak. Kaia made her smile, made her feel brighter and happier than she had in years. Claire actually cared about her life, cared whether she lived or died, because now it felt like she had something to lose.

And she did lose, just not in the way she thought.

She promised to protect Kaia from The Bad Place, but she failed.

The spear was meant for Claire, was meant to pierce her skin and shred her insides, but Kaia pushed her out of the way. Kaia saved her life and Claire almost wishes she didn’t. This feeling of failure, of loneliness, of devastating grief, it’s all too much for Claire to handle. She always loses people, she’s always the one left behind.

Claire is drowning and she knows she’s worrying Jody and Alex. Hell, even Patience is worried and they don’t even get along. She knows something has to give but for the life of her she doesn’t know what that something is.

Her bedroom door opens and it’s like a prayer she has never been brave enough to ask was answered. Standing as awkwardly as ever in her open doorway is the angel Castiel.

The tears Claire has been holding back unleash their fury at the sight of the angel and she crumbles under their weight. Claire has always prided herself on her emotional strength, never being one to let her feelings show, but right now they are consuming her. She cries and she cries, in a way she hasn’t done since she held her mother’s lifeless body in her arms. It’s a painful cry, one that jolts the body and aches every muscle. It’s a deep cry, one that’s been hidden for too long.

Tentative arms wrap around her shoulders as the bed dips beside her. Claire can’t help the way her body melts into Castiel’s side and the way she buries her face in his trench coat. Encased in his arms Claire feels safe, for the first time in her life she feels truly safe.

But it’s a dangerous feeling, one she can’t afford to have. Especially around someone like Castiel.

She may have forgiven him for taking her father away from her and inadvertently taking her mother as well and she’s even come to love him, but he’s still an angel. In her experience, angels haven’t been known to stick around and sometimes she thinks they don’t have the capacity to care – or if they do, it often destroys them.

Deep inside she may crave Castiel’s presence, as he’s the only family she has left. But she knows his loyalty and love lies with the Winchesters, not with her, at least not in the way she needs.

Reluctantly she pulls away from the warmth of his embrace and forcibly wills her tears away. Her moment of weakness is over, now she needs to be strong, rebuild her walls.

“What are you doing here Castiel?” she grumbles as she wipes her eyes on the back of her hand a little too roughly. Castiel shuffles a little and lays his hands on his thighs. Claire doesn’t think he has any other look besides awkward.

“Jody called and I wanted to make sure you were alright. I’m sorry for what happened to your friend. Losing someone you care for is never easy,” Castiel’s gravelly voice fills the room and it sounds as if he speaks from experience.

“What would you know about it?” Claire snarls. She can’t help it; her go to expression is anger.

“Every angel is someone I have known since creation, I mourn them as you mourn your friend,” Castiel sounds like stuck up angel she met as a child, someone who didn’t care about things as delicate as feelings. Then he sighs heavily and that hardened mask slips away, revealing the broken man underneath. “The more human I became the harder the losses got. My first taste of grief as more man than angel was devastating.”

“Who were they?” Claire hears herself ask. She’s been intrigued by Castiel for years and it looks as though he’s finally ready to share some of his story. Castiel smiles to himself as he looks down at his hands, lost in memories of the departed.

“Ellen and Jo Harvelle were incredibly women, I think you would have liked them. They had beautiful souls and a capability for love like I’ve never seen before. They accepted me into their family instantly and taught me a great deal. Without their sacrifice Sam and Dean never would have stopped the apocalypse. I don’t think I truly understood grief until their death.”

Claire doesn’t know who the Harvelle’s were but she can tell that they meant something to Castiel. For a moment she studies the angel seated beside her. He may look like her father but over the years she’s almost forgotten that it’s her father’s face she’s looking at. It’s Castiel’s face now, not her father’s. Somehow there’s a difference and it shows now in the way Castiel’s eyebrows furrow and his mouth thins. There is nothing about Jimmy Novak in that look, that look is 100% Castiel.

“You seem to be doing pretty okay now,” Claire can’t bring herself to ask for help. She can’t ask him how she can move past her overwhelming grief the same way he so obviously can.

“Being an angel sometimes has its perks,” Castiel smirks at her, as though it’s some inside joke they are sharing. And in a way it kind of is. Claire remembers what it was like being host to an angel, though she tries not to think about it. The ability to not feel sure sounds like a nice option right about now.

Castiel looks at Claire and seems to study her as she studies him. His smirk falls away and he looks serious again. Instantly Claire feels the need to retreat, to run from whatever he is about to say.

“Claire, you’ve lost people before and you will lose more in the future. I’ve lost people I consider family, I lost Bobby, and Kevin, and Charlie. I didn’t think I could move past the pain and some days I don’t think I have, but in this life you just have to keep going.” There are tears in Castiel’s eyes, real, honest tears. Claire feels her throat tightening up in response. “Claire, you’re a hunter, you’re important. You may lose people and it will be painful but you also _save_ people. In the grand scheme of things I think that makes the losses hurt a little less.”

A small smile tugs at Claire’s mouth then. It’s not often that people refer to her as a hunter, usually she has to prove her worth in that department, but hearing someone like Castiel call her a hunter means more than she’s willing to admit.

He does have a point though.

Claire may be an orphan, she may be lonely, and a little depressed but every innocent she saves makes it a little easier. Every life saved makes her world a little brighter, makes the pain a little duller. It makes living in this screwed up world almost bearable.

“Thanks Castiel,” Claire whispers and smiles genuinely at the angel. Castiel smiles wide, like he’s proud of himself for doing something right. Claire chuckles softly, the guy really can act like a puppy sometimes. Castiel stands and heads to the door but Claire isn’t ready to say goodbye just yet.

Standing quickly, Claire calls out to Castiel, making the angel pause and turn to her. Claire feels anxiety bubbling in her veins and tastes it on her tongue. She doesn’t really know why she does it but this feels like something she needs Castiel to know.

“Kaia, my friend, she was – she was my _friend_ , in the way that, that Dean is your friend,” Claire’s eyes keep flickering to Castiel’s then away, her fingers picking at the hem of her shirt, her teeth biting at the inside of her cheek. She’s weirdly nervous, an emotion she hasn’t felt in years.

Castiel looks at her for a long moment not saying a word or giving away anything in his expression. Before Claire can work herself into a real panic, Castiel smiles at her. It’s soft and so full of love it almost hurts to look at.

The thing between Dean and Castiel isn’t something people talk about but it’s a widely known thing. Anyone that spends even a few minutes with the hunter and angel knows the two are in love with each other. The two are basically married, everyone knows it and everyone’s cool with it. The only thing people aren’t sure of is if _Dean and Castiel_ know they’re in love with each other. But again, it’s not something people talk about, especially with Dean or Castiel.

Technically Claire didn’t ask about it, though she did heavily allude. If his smile is anything to go by Castiel understands her meaning and is warmed by the idea.

He steps closer and places his hands on her shoulders, squeezing lightly. That lovesick smile never wavers.

“If Kaia is to you what Dean is to me, then your story is far from over. You will find her again.”

That thought more than anything else is what drives away the lingering threads of Claire’s grief. She’ll find her dream walker again, through Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, or alternate dimensions.

Claire Novak is a hunter, and hunters are as stubborn as they come.

**Author's Note:**

> For Camp NaNo I'm writing 20 short fics over several different fandoms, this is number 2.  
> [My Tumblr](http://www.nothing-personal-my-dear.tumblr.com)
> 
> Does anybody want to gush about the amazingness of Wayward Sisters with me? I seriously loved it and have such high hopes for the series!


End file.
